Million Dollars, But… Old People Punching | Rooster Teeth


-Hey everybody and welcome back to another episode of Million Dollars, But… I am joined today by Nick Rutherford and Kirk Johnson of upcoming new Rooster Teeth series, Crunch Time So Nick, since you’ve never been with us before, why don’t you start us off -Alright. Do you want a million dollars…
-That’s a lot of money -But… everyday… every damn day… a chest burster alien flies out of your chest With – with no warning -But so, but I’m not gonna die from this though? -You won’t… you won’t, no, you’ll be in pain and then you’re like *groans* You’re, like conscious after he pops out of you
-Uh-huh -Then he’s like a little buddy -And he is a little stinker, like, he’ll pop out And maybe see a busty woman across the bar -He’ll be like *mischievous laugh*
-Yeah, running over and she’ll be like “Oh”
*kisses* -Ugh -I think there would be some scenarios where that would be fun for that to happen -Like at a movie, you know the “put the wiener in the popcorn cup”
-Right -But pull the popcorn by your chest, and your guy pops through and he’s like *mischievous laugh* And he kisses the girl *kisses*
-And he, like, spoils the movie -So is it the same stinker everyday? So you get to know this guy over time?
-Yeah you get to know him You get to know him really well -Ya know, relationships don’t always last, like Over time you’re gonna discover differences like Oh, you’re gonna burst out of my chest again during the meeting? Couldn’t you do it when I got home? -Sorry yeah, I just burst when I burst -Then slowly over time you guys drift apart? -This just isn’t working anymore, stinker
-And he’s like, no I agree And then he probably has one of those little things -The stick
-The bindle
-Then he walks out
-Alright -Then he does a little shrug Smile, and…
-Million dollars, but you have to have a chest burster… Burst out of your chest every single day You takin’ the money?
-I will take the money, I will take the friendship I need to commit to something -I’m gonna take the million dollars and
I’m just gonna use it to buy little outfits for my stinker -I’m taking the million dollars too. Companion for life, I’m in A million dollars, but… Every 100th chew of your life You have to scream at the top of your lungs
-Just *inhales* *YELLS* -Long enough to where everybody in the resteraunt would notice -When I got out on a date, I get a little nervous, so I start drinking. When I get to the bottom of my drink… All that ice is there, and I start chewing on that ice So at that point I’ll just be talking to the girl like So you say you’re originally from New Je- *YELLS* -I’m sorry, is something wrong?
-No, you’re fine And then 5 minutes later I’m chewed on some more ice and then it’s like So do you want to go back to my place and have a cup of- *YELLS* (everybody laughs)
-I mean That brings up something else. Is it always a terrified scream or can you tailor it to the moment -So if you’re like on a date and you’re having, like, some calamari Can you just be like, oh this is a wonderful date and this calamari is awesome OH YEAH -If you think that would helps, absolutely -This could also work on a date scenario when you’re walking a girl home down the street And a there’s a guy that maybe comes up and he looks a little shady And I was on on my 100th chew and I’d use it and just be like Baby I’ve got this, GET THE FUCK AWAY And she would be like, oh my god, you’re so awesome -Alright, million dollars… But every 100th chew you have to scream at the top of your lungs -I’ll take the money. I will scream my head off. -I’ll take the money, yeah -I will give you a million dollars, but… You are a Jason-Bourne-type sleeper cell agent that – his skills are only activated when he is around old people. -Would being around my grandmother, would that trigger me? -Anyone old, it triggers up these old memories and you have flashbacks and they’re very stylized and uh – heightened, it terms of the way you see them. So anytime you are around an old person those skills kick into play. -So the flashback memories, are they like them putting electrodes on my body
and dunking me into a tank? That kinda thing?
– I think it’s starts with them showing you
pictures of random old people while they dunk you and while they, like, show your nips and stuff And then they put you in those situations with your grandma to test you So you’re in, like, a white void and just your grandma comes in and she’s like “Hey Bernie” And then that’s your first moment losing it and so that really cements in your head, this training

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