Teenage Bitcoin Millionaire – CeWEBrity Profile – Tosh.0


I’m Erik Finman,
and I’m one of the youngest Bitcoin millionaires
in the world. I was able to amass
about 400-plus Bitcoins. ♪♪ So, I was 18 years old
when I made my first million dollars. It felt pretty great. Did — Toured some Lamborghinis. There’s a dealership
in Newport Beach that takes Bitcoin
for Lamborghinis. Never take financial advice
from someone who points their G-D Cap’n Crunch at you. If you work for a living,
prepare to be enraged. That cocky cryptomaniac is Erik, and if I had to guess what
a teenage Bitcoin millionaire would look and act like,
he’d be it. Thanks to his timely
Bitcoin investment, he now owns one million of them. Or like 10. I’m not sure how it converts. I know he’s so rich,
he can afford to rent a modest apartment in Manhattan. [ Laughter ] Bitcoin was invented in 2009 so creeps could anonymously buy
child porn and guns. And from those noble origins,
a financial revolution was born. What is Bitcoin? It’s a digital currency
with no centralized bank that uses blockchain
technology, and — Oh my god, shoot me in the face. Until I can throw it
on a stripper, I’ll pass. Call me old-fashioned,
but I prefer Beanie Babies. Not to be braggadocious,
but I’m currently sitting on a mint condition
Patti the Platypus, tags on! They say Bitcoin is the currency
of the future, but Dippin’ Dots
was supposed to be the ice cream of the future, and it tastes
like Queen Elsa’s asshole. I know a white,
19-year-old millionaire is the easiest person
in the world to hate. But since Erik’s got
so much invisible money, he can afford to fly himself
to Hollywood, where everyone lies
about their wealth, for this week’s
CeWEBrity Profile. [ Applause ] ♪♪ [ Machinery humming ] Ah, Erik. Thanks for coming
to my Bitcoin mine. I’m new to this whole
cryptocurrency world, but as far as I understand it, with enough computers,
you can really strike it rich. Yeah, quite the operation
you have here. As soon as we dig up
these Bitcoins, I should be the first
hypothetical zillionaire. That’s not
how any of this works. [ Clattering ] We ain’t found shit. Shut up, old miner! I’m not paying you in moonshine
to run your toothless mouth. Why don’t you head on deeper
into the mine? I think those machines are hot
down there. Erik. Daniel. First question —
Those glasses are unique. Are a lot of people
wearing those now? Just me.
I’m unique. Where’d you get those? I got them in London. You’re an international
traveler? International traveler. How old are you? 19. How many countries
have you been to? Uh…too many to count. For what reasons? I don’t know. Business, travel, you know, life of
a Bitcoin millionaire. Where do you live? New York. New York City? Yep. No, Buffalo. Okay. I’m just kidding.
New York City. Don’t shit on Buffalo. [ Laughs ] Buffalo’s horrible. Are you renting,
or did you buy an apartment? I’m just renting. Is this the one that
I saw you in in this video? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What’s up with that bed
that’s, like, in the middle of the room
behind another bed? It looks like
a Japanese hotel or something. Yeah, there’s three beds. And it’s just —
It curtains off? Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
I mean — What do you use
that bed for? Uh… Maybe to mine, you know? Oh, you’re enjoying life,
huh? I know.
That’s why I have three beds. Ugh. When did you get in
on Bitcoin? It was about $12 a coin
in 2011. And how many coins
did you buy that day? I bought over 100 coins. Whew. And I have even more now. You have more
than 100 coins now? Way more. Okay, so that’s —
100 Bitcoins at $12 a piece. That’s something like
thousands of dollars. It’s, like, about $1,200. Okay, okay, well,
I can’t do that math. [ Chuckles ] How did you have $1,200
as a 12 year old? So, my grandmother —
She gave me a little over $1,000
for my scholarship fund, and I didn’t put it
towards my scholarship, so… You blew it all on one thing? [ Chuckles ]
I blew it all on Bitcoin. And I spent, like, every day
trying to get more after that. Do you have a thumb drive on you
that has it all? If I had
a thumb drive on me, I’d just get shot
and murdered so fast. Have there ever been, like,
threats out on your life? Oh, for sure.
For sure. Do you take them seriously
or report them or anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to be very careful. I have, like, security,
and I’m super-secure digitally. It’s — It’s —
You know, you have to be. I don’t do any of it. Yeah? I sleep with my door open
at night. [ Laughs ] I have no security. Mm-hmm. I want all of this
on camera. [ Laughs ] My mom was heavily invested
in bullion. Turns out it was broth,
not gold. Her portfolio was very diverse
in chicken and beef stock. Miner: [ Laughs ] Get back to work,
you old whack-a-doo. Explain to me, uh,
as if I were your grandmother, what cryptocurrency is. Cryptocurrency is just like
any other currency. At the technology level,
it allows it so it can run
self-sufficiently on its own. How often do they introduce
more coins into circulation? There’s these things
called Bitcoin miners. Let’s say Facebook didn’t want
to have servers, and then they paid you to run
part of Facebook on your laptop. That’s what Bitcoin does. So, these people get paid for dedicating
their computer space to running
the Bitcoin network. Mm. So, people have these
entire server farms. Hence what I’m trying
to get into. [ Laughs ] Do you have
any inside infor– like, people have
to be cheating this. Nobody’s regulating. I mean — Do you know
when a dip’s coming? I’m completely innocent.
I’m completely innocent. But, yeah, definitely, a lot
of other people do that. Oh!
That is great. This is the Wild West. Nothing like a little Wall
Street corruption, you know? When is this thing gonna
collapse and be worth nothing? Nothing? And you’re gonna go back to just
a regular, smelly teenager? Never. Never. I think cryptocurrency’s
absolutely here to stay forever. When is the dollar
gonna collapse, and you’re gonna lose
all your money? Soon. No,
I’m invested overseas. Okay, there you go. Don’t get ahead
of yourself, kid. [ Both laugh ] If Bitcoin went to zero
right now, would you still
be a millionaire? No, but I’d still
be okay. You’d be okay. I’d be okay.
I’d be all right. It’d be a hit. Yeah, I mean, if all
your real-estate properties were burnt down,
I mean, that would — that would also
kind of suck. It’s more about the land.
I’ll rebuild. Yeah. Do you think it’ll ever
get back up to $20,000? I think Bitcoin will go up
past $20,000, for sure. What about SnakeEyes? You think SnakeEyes will ever
get up to $20,000? SnakeEyes?
Is that a coin? What do you think
about a Daniel Tosh coin? A Tosh.0 coin?
You think that would work? Tosh.0 coin?
Tosh.coin? Someone came up to me
with that idea, that worked here maybe eight
or seven years ago, whole thing,
and I completely ignored it. Yeah? Did I make a huge mistake? Did you want
to be a billionaire? I mean… Yeah? Then you made
a huge mistake. [ Laughs ]
I did, huh? Yeah. That’s kind of cool. You have any other
get-rich-quick schemes? So, I’ve got a great
multi-level-marketing plan. Mm-hmm. I think
you’ll really like it. I would love it. Yeah. What if I would get six or seven
people underneath me? Would I make money? There you go. Does your fake girlfriend just love you
for your fake money? [ Laughs ]
Probably. What is your backup plan
that we all agree you will definitely need? For Bitcoin? Yes. Yeah, um, I mean, no. I mean, I start businesses.
I sold my company for Bitcoin. So, like, I-I’m pretty —
You know — Did you go to college? No, no.
I dropped out of high school. When did you drop out? I was, like, 14, 15. As soon as I dropped out,
I moved to Silicon Valley. What kind of parents
are these? Amazing parents. I texted them,
tracked my phone, all that. Right, but — but I wasn’t
allowed to spend the night at other people’s houses
’cause my dad’s like, “What’s wrong with you? Why you want to sleep
with another kid?” And I’m like,
“Oh, I-I-I’m sorry.” And then I just went
to my room. Did you apply
to any colleges? No, I dropped —
I didn’t even get my GED. I hear you. You should get your GED. Mm-hmm?
Yeah? It’s also very funny
to be a millionaire and — and have a GED. Is it? I think so. I feel like it’s funnier
to not have a GED. No, it’s not. I would respect your opinions
more if you had a GED. [ Bells ringing,
alarms chiming ] Ooh! Come on! We did it! We did it! We struck Bitcoin! That’s not
how any of this works. [ Chuckles ] ♪♪ Sa-Sal? I’d like to dedicate this
episode to the old miner. He died tragically of Bitlung.

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